she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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