He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Randomize
