There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
