she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Randomize
