I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
