Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
It's blow job season.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Randomize
