Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
