and you said cock pushups were impossible
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
