Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Randomize
