just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
