did you get engaged???
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
