Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
