living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Randomize
