It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
