You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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