its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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