I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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