PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
