Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
