I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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