I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
