She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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