This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
