So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
