so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
organizing the empties. That sober.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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