dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
