Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
