she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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