I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
