even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
