Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
