my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Randomize
