Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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