This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
