Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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