ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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