I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Its about making memories worth repressing
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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