dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
