Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
