Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
