Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Found your dick twin last night
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
