my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Randomize
