they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
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