The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
