I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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