Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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