im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
