never play flip cup with pint glasses
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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