She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
