May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
