nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
