the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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