I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
As shirtless as possible
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
